5 Tips for Setting Goals in the New Year
Setting Goals in 2021
WHEW!!!! 2020 Y’all! It has been a ride!
2020 has brought grief and loss, sadness, and worry to many people throughout this year. To some it has also been an opportunity to reevaluate how they are choosing to live their life, how you spend your time, and what you put your energy into.
But we have made it through the year. Most likely it is not where we thought we would be or maybe where we wanted to be, but here we are. Right here, right now, and in this moment.
The kids these days have a saying for the New Years holiday…
“New year, new me.”
Catchy? Maybe. Cute? Maybe. Expectation setting? For sure.
I’m a therapist in Wilmington, NC. I provide therapy for women using anxiety treatment, treatment for perfectionism, therapy for imposter syndrome, and burnout counseling. In my Wilmington, NC counseling practice, I offer online anxiety therapy in Maryland and North Carolina.
Setting Goals And Perfectionism
One of the biggest holiday traditions at the end of the year is the idea of setting new goals and having that fresh start when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st.
I mentioned the “New year, new me” phrase above, and it can give a tone and set up some expectations for the new year. Now, don’t get me wrong having and setting goals is awesome and can be an important part with growth.
And it is also important to be aware that setting these intentions can lend to high expectations of ourself and others. Sometimes these goals are set so high it makes it difficult to reach them and succeed and sometimes never being satisfied with the success. This is often a symptom of perfectionism. We may not even realize this is happening and can be unintentional. When the bar is set so high and we find it difficult to keep up, it can also create or reinforce feelings of anxiety, disappointment, guilt, and shame.
Check out more helpful blog about anxiety and perfectionism.
Tips For Setting Goals in 2021
Turning goals into SMART goals helps us to better set an intention clearly and better manage to see our goals through until the end. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-based.
Example - My goal for 2021 is to improve my financial health. I want save $480 by the end of 2021. On the first and third Friday of every month I will save $20 from each paycheck and put it in my savings account.
Focus on values and use them as a guide
If you choose to set some goals for 2021, I encourage you to look at some of the things in life you value. Some examples might be health (physical, mental, financial), fun or adventure, family, etc. Setting your goals to match values that are important to you can be helpful because you may be more likely to follow through, but also there is meaning associated to your goal.
Mental Flexibility
I think of mental flexibility as being able to shift or change as needed. That doesn’t always mean you may like it but the willingness to change is there. If 2020 has not taught us anything else I think it has given us a lesson in bend and not break.
Put those negative thoughts in worries in check
Negative thoughts can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and worries. Challenge that inner critic. If your mind typically goes towards pointing out the negative make sure to also look at the positives too. Remember that inner critic is allowed to have a seat at the table (if you choose) but that does not mean they get to make the decisions.
Example - “I’m so mad I’m not going to be able to meet my goal to save $500 by November this year. I was able to save $300 and I didn’t have to stress at Christmas time because I already had money set aside to use for presents.”
Compassion and kindness is important
Things do not always turn out as we hope and it is important to be kind to ourself when this happens with goals that we set. For example, I encourage my clients to speak to themself as they would their best friend who was going through a hard time.
Taking That Next Step
Are you planning to set goals for 2021? What is that you want to focus on? What are you looking forward to in 2021.
Sometimes our anxiety and depression hold us back and can get in the way of going forward. If you are interested in exploring your goals or values further, schedule your free 15 minute consultation to begin therapy.
I offer virtual therapy to anxious high achievers located in Maryland and North Carolina. Check out this blog post if you have been thinking of trying online therapy.
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/12/23