Feeling the Weight of Carrying the Mental Load
The Weight of the Mental Load
The kids need to get a birthday gift for little Johnny’s birthday party this weekend…
you gotta remember to book the Airbnb rental for the family vacation in 7 months…
but also did give the dog his medicine this morning as you were leaving for work…
and don’t forget you need to remember to add the finishing touches to the presentation project you have to turn in this afternoon.
It’s no secret that women carry the majority of the mental load in the family. Add that to the anxious high-achiever that already has a ton on her plate and it's like a disaster waiting to happen.
At some point, it does come “crashing down.” You miss a deadline, forget the birthday gift, or double book yourself to be in two places at the same time.
Even with the best intentions, reminders, planners, etc., it happens.
When it does happen, it’s also really easy to beat yourself up about it too.
In this blog, I’m sharing with you 3 ways carrying the mental load can be harmful to your mental health and 3 steps you can take to help improve the situation.
I am an online therapist in Wilmington NC providing therapy for high-achieving women in North Carolina and Maryland. I provide anxiety treatment and also work with issues such as perfectionism and burnout.
Make an online reservation for your free 15-minute consultation on the date and time of your choice.
Keep reading to learn more about the impacts of carrying the mental load and how you can better take care of yourself.
Impacts of Carrying the Mental Load
Being a woman, a lot tends to fall on our shoulders, and a good portion of the time we just accept it and keep it moving.
Because after all, if you want it done right you might as well do it yourself…right?
And then it piles up, you feel overwhelmed and resentful, and at some point, it becomes too much.
This can happen in various parts of your life including with family, friends, work, home, etc. When it gets to be too much it also makes sense if some of these areas of your life also start to suffer as well.
Below are 3 impacts that can occur when you’ve become mentally overloaded from carrying the mental load.
As an anxious person, naturally you are more susceptible to stress and anxiety. When things are continuously added to your plate it will often trigger an increase in anxiety symptoms. You may more easily feel overwhelmed and it can be really difficult to focus and concentrate.
Having the mentality of things needing to be done “right” or “perfect” can really keep you stuck in the pattern of taking on a lot.
What if, you drop the ball or things don’t go according to plan? Oftentimes, this can trigger some pretty harsh negative self-talk such as seeing yourself as “not being good enough” as a mom, spouse, worker, etc.
Chance of Burnout
Chances are if you have a lot going on in your life and you’re under the constant pressure of carrying the mental load, you may experience feelings of burnout.
Most often burnout is associated with unhappiness with a job but it can happen in other areas of your life as well.
3 Ways You Can Help Yourself
Recognizing that your stress levels have gone up, your anxiety has increased, and maybe you find yourself being quite negative, requires some extra TLC.
Listed below are 3 ways you can give yourself some extra support when the times get tough.
Lean into Self-Compassion
This tends to be challenging for some folks. I understand it’s not the easiest to give yourself some grace and kindness but if you can it can go a long way.
I think a good place to start is to ask yourself if a friend came to you and was experiencing some of these thoughts and feelings, how would you respond to them?
Most often we are going to give love, support, and kindness to others. Consider meeting yourself in that place and offering a dose for you too.
Boost the Self-Care
This is also really important because so much time and energy are spent on other people, places, and things.
It’s important to also put yourself first and take care of yourself. Remember self-care isn’t selfish and is most often needed for you to be a spouse that is present, caretaker for the kids, and all-around badass at your job.
Ask for Help
Thankfully, you don’t have to take on the world yourself, even if your brain is telling you to do.
Asking for help doesn’t come easily to a lot of people, especially if you are used to doing things yourself so that it gets done “correctly.”
Asking for help can be vulnerable, requires you to give up the control, and practice being flexible.
Scary?
On the flip side of the coin, it can allow you to have more time doing the things you enjoy, focusing your energy more on what matters, and taking a huge responsibility off of you as being seen as the only one who can take care of business.
Start Anxiety Therapy in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Carrying the mental load isn’t easy. If you’re not taking good care of yourself, it can also come with a price such as anxiety, stress, negativity, and feelings of burnout.
There are things you can do to help reduce some of the feelings and take good care of yourself.
If you find yourself needing some extra support, starting therapy can be a great place to begin.
I use ACT for anxiety treatment and to address other issues such as burnout and perfectionism.
Learn more about acceptance and commitment therapy for anxiety and how it can be helpful for you.
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your anxiety therapist
Start living a happier life
Therapy for high acheivers in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Want an overview of therapy services at Calm Waters Counseling in Wilmington, NC? Click to learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC online therapy practice.
Being a go-getter and high-achiever comes with some unique challenges. Most often in addition to anxiety clients will bring in challenges with perfectionism and work stress.
Check out these other services below and see how they can be helpful.
Anxiety Treatment in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Therapy for Burnout in Wilmington, NC
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in North Carolina
Online Therapy for Anxiety in North Carolina
Online therapy offers flexibility to meet your needs and has proven to be effective.
If you have been thinking of trying online therapy and want to learn more about online therapy in your state, click the links below and find out.
online anxiety therapy in North Carolina
online therapy for anxiety in Maryland
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Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/16/23