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Knowing How to Ask for Help is an Essential Part of Life and Using it Could Make a Big Difference in Your Life

Asking for help can be one of the hardest things.

Because when you are asking for help you are showing vulnerability.

woman sitting alone in a room looking out a window | difficulty with vulnerability | start asking for help

And vulnerability evokes a lot of feelings such as anxiety, guilt, shame, and embarrassment. Your mind starts feeding you all sorts of stories.

It’s important to remember just because you think something doesn’t mean it’s true and when you feel something that feeling won’t last forever either.

Here’s the thing, high-achievers are no strangers to success and determination and to be successful in life, at some point, you need to have help and support along the way.

Keep reading for tips on how to ask for help and get the support you’ve wanted but couldn’t ask for.

I am a virtual anxiety therapist in Wilmington, NC. I specialize in providing therapy for high-achieving women experiencing challenges such as stress, anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout.

My online anxiety treatment practice is located in Wilmington, NC where I offer online anxiety therapy in North Carolina and Maryland.

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Keep reading to get some helpful tips on how a high achiever can start asking for help.

5 Ways to Start Asking for Help

Asking for help isn’t easy, especially for high-achievers. Listed below are some tips that can help get you started and make asking for help a little easier.

Tip #1 when asking for help: Start where it is safe

Using your support system is a great way to start easing into asking for help.

Typically, those in our support system are people or places we feel emotionally safe. Because asking for help can be a vulnerable process, beginning with those that care about you can make it a little easier.

Tip #2 when asking for help: Feel the feelings

woman with closed eyes taking a breath | experiencing feelings | anxiety and vulnerability | why is it hard to ask for help

Check-in with the feelings that might be showing up.

Shame, guilt, embarrassment, fear, and anxiety are all common feelings that you could experience. Those feelings may be uncomfortable and they are not “bad.” Allow yourself to gently lean into these feelings and work through the uncomfortable rather than immediately avoid them.

Tip #3 when asking for help: Notice your thoughts

Much like uncomfortable feelings showing up, your mind is going to have some thoughts about this whole asking for help process too.

And just like you can’t control the feelings that show up, you also can’t control the thoughts your mind brings forward.

But you are very much in control of how you respond to those thoughts and the first important step is building awareness by noticing those thoughts so you can choose how you would like to respond.

Tip #4 when asking for help: Examine your beliefs

Examine and explore your beliefs centered around asking for help.

What do you tell yourself if you ask for help or what kind of thoughts show up if others ask you for help? Are those different or similar?

Tip #5 when asking for help: Practice being assertive

When you do ask for help, be as specific as possible about what you need assistance with. This will allow the person you are asking to provide you with the best possible advice or guidance.

Anxiety Therapy in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling

The thought of asking for help and receiving support can be both anxiety-producing and relieving when accepted.

It isn’t always easy, especially for high-achievers that are used to being independent and having expectations from themselves and others.

It is important to recognize that life is impossible to do alone. There are going to be times and situations when help and support are needed. Being able to ask for that help and support is an important life skill and crucial to success.

At Calm Waters Counseling, I use a style of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT therapy. ACT therapy is a helpful form of therapy and can be used to address challenges with thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Check out this blog to learn if Acceptance and Commitment Therapy could be helpful for you.