Imposter Syndrome: When You Feel Like A Fraud
What it Feels Like to Have Imposter Syndrome
Often, you wake up or show up to work and you think “today is the day they’ll figure out I have no clue what I am doing.”
“I feel like such a phony.”
You question yourself at almost every turn or decision you make. Is it normal to second guess yourself this much?
The anxiety is overwhelming and you are trying to keep it together.
You see yourself as a high achiever. From the outside, you have it all. Yet, at times you may think to yourself you don’t deserve to have this job, this life, make this much money.
But you get praise and encouragement from others. You hear it, it sounds nice, and yet that doubt is still there.
I am a therapist in Wilmington, NC. I work with high achieving women experiencing anxiety and provide anxiety treatment, treatment for perfectionism, therapy for imposter syndrome, and burnout counseling. Imposter syndrome is a topic that often comes up for my clients as we explore areas of their life.
Check out the rest of this blog as we explore what imposter syndrome is. We cover signs of imposter syndrome, & tips on overcoming imposter syndrome.
Click the button below to schedule your free consultation with me.
What is Imposter Syndrome?
“Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud.”
Imposter syndrome is what happens when you hold a belief about yourself that you are not good enough. Or, note competent enough in what you are doing. Consistent feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt are present. Most often, you believe you are a fraud or a phony. And, that your success has more to with luck than your competency.
Common Signs of Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome can impact everyone differently and listed below are common signs of imposter syndrome:
Self-doubt
Being an overachiever
Unrealistic goal setting
Self-sabotage
Fear you won’t meet expectations
Difficulty assessing your own skills or competence
Feel the need to over-prepare
Imposter syndrome can affect anyone. But, it is often found in high-achieving women that experience anxiety and perfectionism. Some of the most famous women have spoken up about their challenges of imposter syndrome.
5 Types of Imposter Syndrome
Perfectionist - The Perfectionist sets high goals that are often unattainable. If the goal is not satisfied, feelings of shame, doubt, and anxiety may become present. When the Perfectionist achieves goals, they are often unsatisfied with the outcome. They generally believe they could do better. If the Perfectionist is not careful this can cause burnout.
Superhero - The Superhero may also look like a “workaholic.” This type will put in the extra hard work around their colleagues because they believe they are a “phony.”
Natural Genius - The Natural Genius often holds a lot of shame. They believe something should come quickly and easily to them. Like the Perfectionist, they will set high expectations for themselves
Soloist - The Soloist is all about being independent. This type holds the belief asking for help will show the world they are a fraud.
Expert - The Expert believes they don’t know enough and fear they will be found out as such. The Expert will always strive to learn more, more, and more to increase their knowledge. Or, their skill set. On an unhealthy level, this can actually take on a form of procrastination. The Expert will deny their expertise.
Causes of Imposter Syndrome
You know what you are doing. You've gone to school, studied the trade, and done the work. You've had successes, and worked hard to get to this point.
And you may ask yourself…
So why do I have imposter syndrome? Where does imposter syndrome come from?
What we do know is that imposter syndrome can occur with certain personality traits like perfectionism. Or, aspects based on your upbringing.
Oftentimes, your family of origin and dynamics plays a role as well. You may have received a lot of praise from your family. But, they were critical of you as well. When it comes to values, your family may have placed achievement before anything else. When this happens, it sends a message that the outcome (the achievement) is the most important thing. But what we do know is that the outcome is only part of the process.
Imposter Syndrome and Mental Health
Imposter syndrome has links with other mental health issues. These anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout. Imposter syndrome is not diagnosable. But, it can cause a lot of challenges within your mental health.
Check out how imposter syndrome can impact these other mental health issues.
Imposter Syndrome and Anxiety
It is very easy to see how imposter syndrome and anxiety relate. Worry and constant self-doubt can set you up for anxiety. If you are already prone to anxiety, it can also cause anxiety to increase.
Imposter Syndrome can be found in the following anxiety disorders:
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Below are common symptoms of anxiety that may overlap with signs of imposter syndrome:
Self-Doubt
Fear
Nervousness
Irritability
In extreme form, imposter syndrome can lead to social isolation and loneliness due to avoiding social situations.
Overcoming imposter syndrome can be challenging. Check out this helpful information:
Tips to overcome imposter syndrome when you have anxiety.
For more information on anxiety, check out these helpful blogs posts:
5 Tips for Choosing the Best Anxiety Therapist in Wilmington, NC
What to Expect When You Start Therapy for Anxiety
Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism
Perfectionism and imposter syndrome go hand in hand. As mentioned above, the Perfectionist is also a type of imposter syndrome. Perfectionists work very hard to not make mistakes. They want to look competent in front of others and show they have it all together. Perfectionists set the bar so high for themselves. So high, they often cannot meet their own expectations. Those that struggle with overcoming imposter syndrome fear they may look like a fraud to others.
Below are some common signs of perfectionism that also relate to imposter syndrome:
Very Critical
Fear of Failure
Unrealistic Expectations
Low Self-Esteem
Defensiveness
Controlling
Obsessive
Difficulty Relaxing
For more information on perfectionism check out this helpful blog post:
Imposter Syndrome and Burnout
Anxiety and perfectionism create a high probability for burnout to occur. With the challenges of imposter syndrome, burnout becomes much more likely to happen. Any work stress involved can also make it even harder in overcoming imposter syndrome. In a workplace setting, those that struggle with imposter syndrome are often seen as a “workaholic.” Spending so much time and energy will lead to feelings of burnout.
Burnout may affect everyone in different ways.
But, listed below are common signs and symptoms of burnout:
Emotional Exhaustion
Physical Exhaustion
Feeling Unhappy
Poor Satisfaction
Pessimistic Thoughts
Negative Attitude
Procrastination
Increase Stress
Poor Work-Life Balance
For more information on burnout check out these helpful blog posts:
Burnout: What to do When it is More Than Just Hating Your Job
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
Beginning therapy is a big and important step. You may have asked a trusted friend or family member about their experience. Or, a therapist they have seen in the past. You might have even googled “therapist near me” or “best therapist near me.”
One of the most important things is finding a therapist for anxiety, perfectionism, or burnout. Therapists that specialize in these areas will also understand imposter syndrome.
Continue reading to learn how to get started in therapy for imposter syndrome. Learn about the types of therapy used at Calm Waters Counseling, and how they help in overcoming imposter syndrome.
Starting Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
When beginning therapy for imposter syndrome, there are a few steps in the process to get started.
Keep reading to check out the process and steps of getting started in therapy.
Steps to Get Started:
Schedule your free 15-minute consultation. You can schedule your free 15-minute consult by clicking the button below. This will allow you to make a consult appointment on the day and time of your choosing. Here, you will select your location and enter your contact info. I serve the states of North Carolina and Maryland. Please note all appointments are online therapy appointments only.
Once you have submitted a consultation request, you will receive a link to the HIPAA-compliant client portal. There will be a brief questionnaire to fill out before the consultation takes place. This asks questions about goals for therapy and preferred times for future appointments.
The therapist will call at your designated day and time for your consultation. During this, the questionnaire is reviewed. Then, you and your therapist determine future appointments. All intake paperwork is then sent through the client portal to prepare for the first appointment.
Attend your first intake therapy appointment. Here, your therapist will review the intake paperwork. The therapist can get a better understanding of your imposter syndrome, and discuss goals for therapy.
Check out different therapy methods used for overcoming imposter syndrome.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
Cognitive-behavioral therapy or CBT to treat imposter syndrome can be very helpful. CBT therapy looks at the connection between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. And, how they influence each other. Cognitive-behavioral therapy also explores negative beliefs held about self.
During CBT for imposter syndrome, your therapist will identify negative or anxious thoughts. Challenging those thoughts and reframing them is an important part of the process.
Exercises in CBT for imposter syndrome
Writing exercises are one helpful way to begin recognizing and tracking negative thoughts. Once you know these thoughts and how they impact your behaviors, you can start to replace them with more positive thoughts. These can lead to more confidence and healthier behaviors.
You can learn more about cognitive behavioral therapy here.
You can also check out this helpful blog post:
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
Acceptance and commitment therapy or ACT is used to treat imposter syndrome. ACT, along with CBT, is a very helpful therapy. ACT is based on some of the principles of CBT. It can be a stand-alone treatment style. Or, used with parts of ACT along with other forms of therapy. ACT encourages cognitive flexibility. This includes recognizing your values and accepting what is happening at the moment.
One way of using ACT in overcoming imposter syndrome is to create distance from thoughts. Distance from thoughts allows for space and less attachment to unhelpful, negative thoughts.
Example:
Experiencing the thought “I am not qualified for my job.”
When this thought comes up, try pausing and reframing to “I notice my mind is telling me I am not qualified for my job.”
When you make space, it becomes easier to challenge and reframe these kinds of thoughts. Notice that your brain creates these thoughts more than a true belief.
You can learn more about acceptance and commitment therapy here.
Check out this helpful blog post on ACT for more information - What is ACT Therapy?
Using Mindfulness for Imposter Syndrome
Using mindfulness to reduce imposter syndrome can be a very helpful tool. Mindfulness is a state of being in the present moment. This means accepting what is happening, without trying to change it. Mindfulness is a core piece of ACT. And, can be added in with cognitive behavioral therapy.
The example above uses ACT, pausing to observe and describe the thought that is operating mindfully. Mindfulness is very successful in treatment for anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout.
For more information on mindfulness check out this helpful blog post:
Online Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
Calm Waters Counseling also offers online therapy appointments along with in-person therapy appointments. Online therapy is as successful for overcoming imposter syndrome as in-person therapy.
There are a lot of pros to online therapy.
These may include being able to have your appointments from the comfort of your own space at work or home. You can attend appointments and avoid missing appointments because you're out of town. Instead, you can meet with an online therapist in a private setting. It also eliminates having to get stuck in traffic! Now, you don't have to go across town to try and make it to your therapy appointment on time.
All online therapy appointments take place on a HIPAA-compliant video platform.
On this platform, the online therapist and client can see and hear each other. I am currently licensed in Maryland and North Carolina. I can offer online therapy appointments to anyone residing in those two locations.
To learn more about starting online therapy in these states, click the links below.
Online Therapy in Maryland
Online Therapy in North Carolina
If you have been thinking of trying online therapy, check out this helpful blog post:
Is Online Therapy Right For Me?
What to Expect When You Finish Therapy for Imposter Syndrome
When clients succeed in overcoming imposter syndrome, they will reflect on the process as a whole. What was life like from starting point to the ending point?
Often, clients will share the following experiences after completing treatment for imposter syndrome:
Increase in Self-Confidence
Acceptance
More in Control of Self
Increase in Self-Esteem
New Ways of Coping
Increase in Self-Compassion
It is also vital to recognize that each person’s process in therapy is individualized. This is a therapy based on your treatment goals and is not measured against others.
Start Feeling More Confident and Stop Feeling Like a Fraud. Begin Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Imposter syndrome can cause stress, anxiety, and burnout. It can make life much more challenging and cause feelings of unhappiness or dissatisfaction. If you are ready to start feeling more confident and less self-doubt, reach out to my Wilmington, NC-based online therapy practice today! We can work together to reduce thoughts of self-doubt and create a more enjoyable life.
To start overcoming imposter syndrome, follow these simple steps:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email
Meet with your new caring therapist
Start improving your self-confidence
Other Services Offered at Calm Waters Counseling
In addition to therapy for imposter syndrome at my Wilmington, NC counseling practice, I online therapy for imposter syndrome in Maryland or North Carolina, therapy for imposter syndrome, anxiety treatment, treatment for perfectionism, and burnout counseling.
Learn More About the Therapist
Learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC-based online counseling practice at Calm Waters Counseling. I work with women who experience anxiety, perfectionism, and burnout.
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/12/23