5 Tips on How to Overcome Dating Anxiety
How to Date with Anxiety
Dating is not fun for everyone and dating can be especially challenging for folks who have anxiety.
Raise your hand if you ever wore black purposefully on a date because not only did it look good on you but also doubled as a way to hide the sweating.
Just me…?
Doubt it…
On a “good day” your thoughts are swirling, but throw in going on a date and that ish gets kicked into overdrive and maybe even like warp speed.
You have thoughts such as…
“What if I’m a weirdo?”
“Does this person like me?”
“What if I start to feel anxious?”
“Did I just say something weird?”
"Oh gosh just stop talking you sound like an idiot!”
In this blog, I’m sharing 5 tips on how to overcome dating anxiety.
I am an anxiety therapist in Wilmington, NC, and specialize in providing therapy for stressed out and anxious high-achieving women in Wilmington, NC.
In addition to providing anxiety treatment in Wilmington, NC, I also provide burnout counseling for work stress.
I provide virtual therapy for anxious high achieving women living in Maryland and North Carolina.
Ready to get started in therapy? Click the button below to schedule your complimentary 15-minute consultation on the date and time of your choice
Keep reading to learn more about how to overcome dating anxiety.
5 Tips on Overcoming Dating Anxiety
Anxiety is a normal emotion and the purpose isn’t to get rid of the anxiety in your life but to identify how to better respond to anxiety when it shows up so that you can still do things you enjoy and carry on about your day.
The tips listed below don’t focus on how to not have anxiety show up because that can’t be guaranteed but instead focus on how to manage alongside your anxiety.
Tip #1 to Overcome Dating Anxiety - Notice, Accept, and Move Forward
As stated above, anxiety is going to show up and it makes sense that it would show up for some people when meeting new people or going to new places.
Place focus on just noticing the anxiety feeling or where it is showing up in your body and that it is here with you.
Even with anxiety present you can go forward and do things that matter to you.
I’m willing to bet at some point in time you have probably felt some anxiety about something and still moved forward.
Tip #2 to Overcome Dating Anxiety - Adjust the Expectations
Often there is a lot of pressure that comes with dating.
Whether we place that pressure on ourselves or it comes from family and friends. It may even be cultural or societal pressure we experience.
Certainly, these feelings are very real but are they helpful in the moment?
It can be really helpful to focus on the facts in regards to the actual date and meeting this new person to help reduce some of the anxiety showing up.
For example, notice and accept what feelings and thoughts are showing up (see tip #1) and remind yourself the purpose of having coffee today (insert date activity here) is to meet a new person and learn about them.
Tip #3 to Overcome Dating Anxiety - Set Some Boundaries
Setting a boundary can be helpful to manage anxiety because it puts some limitations around something.
For example, you can set a time boundary. Maybe you schedule your date during a certain part of the day or for X amount of time.
In terms of location boundaries, suggest some areas or places you are already familiar with. This can help to reduce any additional worry or anxiety regarding directions, menus, parking situations, etc.
Another boundary you can set is the information you choose to share with the other person. The other two boundaries mentioned above you may have to do some compromising on sometimes but this boundary is a choice you are in control of from the start.
Tip #4 to Overcome Dating Anxiety - Do Some Prep Work Ahead of Time
Along with the last boundary mentioned in tip #3, the information boundary, think about some topics you are comfortable talking about and enjoy talking about.
Having a few of these topics on hand can help reduce some anxiety, give you some options, and feel more comfortable.
Tip #5 to Overcome Dating Anxiety - Practice Mindfulness
Being present and in the moment can help you to focus rather than your mind spinning on the what-ifs and worst-case scenario stuff.
Being mindful can take quite a bit of practice to get the hang of it. There are many different ways to practice mindfulness and it can be an informal practice or a more formal practice. It can easily be incorporated into just about any activity. Tip #1 to notice, name, and accept what you are thinking, feeling, and experiencing is mindfulness.
You can start practicing in small amounts so when it comes time to be on your date you already know what to do.
Learn more about anxiety treatment and mindfulness.
Start Anxiety Counseling in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Dating when you have anxiety can be challenging and anxiety-provoking but it doesn’t have to stop you from having a love life, being in a healthy relationship, and exploring possible new relationships.
I use acceptance and commitment therapy for anxiety treatment in my Wilmington, NC counseling practice.
You can learn more about ACT for anxiety and how it can be helpful for you.
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your Wilmington, NC therapist
Start living your life feeling more in control
Therapy for High Achievers in Wilmington, NC Offered at Calm Waters Counseling
Want to get to know me a bit better? You can learn about me and my Wilmington, NC therapy practice.
I work almost exclusively with stressed out and anxious high achieving women providing anxiety treatment to help clients feel more in control and have fewer impacts of anxiety.
In addition to providing anxiety therapy, I also work with issues around burnout, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome. Click the links below to learn more.
Anxiety Therapy in Wilmington, NC
Burnout Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Online Therapy for Anxiety in Maryland
Online therapy is a helpful option for anxious high-achievers.
Online therapy is more convenient and allows for flexibility in one’s schedule. There are a lot of benefits of using online therapy for anxiety relief.
Using ACT with online therapy is also possible.
I am licensed to provide therapy in North Carolina and Maryland. To learn more about starting online therapy at Calm Waters Counseling in your state, click the links below.
Online therapy for anxiety in North Carolina
Online anxiety therapy in Maryland
Still, have questions?
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/15/23