Setting Healthy Boundaries When You Have Anxiety
What Kind of Boundaries are Important to Set When You Have Anxiety?
You’re used to taking the backseat approach and not wanting to rock the boat. But that shit gets real old real quick and leaves you feeling frustrated and at times taken advantage of in the situation.
Most times when starting with new clients the topic of boundaries comes up quite frequently. This is no surprise because I work with a lot of anxious folks and setting boundaries can be very anxiety-producing and uncomfortable at first.
But boundaries are important and necessary in life. Boundaries are an important part of taking care of yourself.
In this blog, I am going to share with you information on what boundaries are and the types of boundaries you can set.
I am a virtual therapist in Wilmington NC and specialize in therapy for anxious high achieving women living in North Carolina and Maryland. I provide anxiety treatment and help clients work through issues such as perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and burnout.
Ready to get started in anxiety therapy? Click the button below to online schedule your free 15-minute consultation on the date and time of your choice.
Keep reading for more information on setting healthy boundaries.
What are Boundaries and Why Are Boundaries Important?
Boundaries are the rules and limits you can set for yourself. They can help to keep you physically, mentally, and emotionally safe. Boundaries help to communicate to other people your wants and needs.
Boundaries are a form of self-care.
6 Types of Boundaries
Different types of boundaries can be set and these boundaries are important. I encourage you to think about some of the boundaries you have set in your life or boundaries you think would be important to start setting. Check out the list below of different types of boundaries and some examples for each.
Boundary Type #1: Emotional Boundaries
Emotional boundaries are important as they can help to separate yourself from your feelings, remove yourself from triggering or upsetting events or people, and not take on others’ feelings.
Example:
“I feel really upset right now and I would appreciate some space to think about what just happened.”
Or
“This topic of conversation is not something I feel comfortable discussing with you.”
Boundary Type #2: Physical Boundaries
Your physical boundaries address your space, your environment, how you want to be touched, who you allow to touch you, and also what you decide to put into your body.
Example:
“I don’t like to be hugged. Instead, can we shake hands?”
Or
“The next time you want to spend time together, can you call me ahead of time instead of showing up unannounced?”
Boundary Type #3: Communication Boundaries
When you are setting communication boundaries what you are doing is letting the other person know how you would like to be treated and the things they can and cannot say to you. In addition, it is also setting the boundary between how you speak to yourself and how you speak to other people.
Example:
“Please don’t speak to me using that language.”
Or
“I appreciate your opinion and I can make the decision myself.”
Boundary Type #4: Relationship Boundaries
Setting relationship boundaries can be very challenging for people who experience increased anxiety and people-pleasing tendencies. Relationship boundaries teach others how we want to be treated, the behaviors we accept, and what the other person can expect from us.
Example:
“I am a better partner to you when I can decompress after work. I need to spend a few minutes by myself when I get home after work.”
Or
“I do better when the expectations are clear. Can you clarify X for me?”
Boundary Type #5: Mental Boundaries
Having mental boundaries allows you to be okay with another person having different opinions, thoughts, beliefs, and feelings from you.
Example:
“I think we will have to agree to disagree on this topic.”
Or
“We can disagree about this topic and speak respectfully to each other.”
Boundary Type #6: Time Boundaries
Setting time boundaries is helpful in many instances. Time boundaries can allow you to determine how much time you want to spend with others or on tasks. Time boundaries are also important in how you would like others to respect your time.
Example:
“I am going to work on cleaning up this area for 15 minutes at a time.”
Or
“I’m sorry I am not able to help you with X this weekend, I need some time to myself."
Begin Anxiety Treatment in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Setting boundaries can be challenging and feel uncomfortable initially. I always talk to my clients about boundaries being a constant work in progress.
Boundaries are important and can make your life much better in the long term.
Start Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with me today!
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your anxiety therapist
Start living the life you want
Therapy for High Achievers in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Anxious high achievers can benefit from therapy. So much time is spent focused on others or achieving their goals, that it can be difficult to make sure their needs are also taken care of too.
This is what I offer.
Want to know what it would be like to work with me?
Learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC online counseling practice.
Check out all the services at Calm Waters Counseling, listed below:
Anxiety treatment in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Burnout Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Online Therapy for Anxiety in North Carolina
Online therapy is a great way to continue to attend therapy sessions when your schedule may not allow for you to come into the office. There is so much flexibility and online therapy is effective for anxiety treatment.
Online acceptance and commitment therapy is as effective as in-person sessions.
Click the links below to learn about online therapy where you live.
online therapy for anxiety in North Carolina
online anxiety therapy in Maryland
Still, have questions? Click the buttons below to get some answers.
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/17/23