Do I Have People Pleasing Anxiety?
How Do I Know if I Have People Pleasing Anxiety?
A friend asks for help because she is stressed out to the max, the neighbor wants to get the families together on Sunday for the big game, it’s your turn to choose the next book for book club, and your boss has asked you to take on some extra job responsibilities because she trusts you and your work.
You don’t want to but of course, the answer is “yes” because anything but that would be unacceptable, anxiety-inducing, and leave your mind spinning.
You’ll figure it out. You always do.
But oh man, just the thought of declining one or several of these things leaves you feeling both relief and stress.
This is what you do. You say “yes.”
If this sounds familiar, chances are you might be struggling with pleasing people.
In this blog, I’m sharing with you 5 things you do if you have people-pleasing anxiety.
I am an online anxiety therapist in Wilmington, NC, and specialize in therapy for anxious high-achieving women. My clients come in for anxiety treatment, challenges with perfectionism, and stress and burnout.
I assist anxious high achievers using online Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for anxiety in North Carolina and Maryland.
Ready to get started? Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation with me.
Keep reading to learn more about people pleasing anxiety.
5 Things You Do If You Have People Pleasing Anxiety
Being a people pleaser can really impact your life and typically leave you feeling frustrated, stressed out, and resentful. People pleasing behaviors can show up in how you do your job and in your relationships with friends, family, and even strangers.
Keep reading to learn signs of people pleasing.
Sign #1 of People Pleasing: Difficulty Saying No
Being assertive and saying “no” ranks at the top of the list for some of my clients as being the most anxiety producing thing.
Often this will be avoided at all costs and yet it is one of the most important things you can do for yourself.
Sign #2 of People Pleasing: Don’t Want Anyone To Be Mad At You
The thought of anyone being upset or mad at you makes you cringe, especially those you are closest to. You don’t want to disappoint anyone.
You may even go as far as constantly apologizing and partaking in the Sorry Syndrome.
Sign #3 of People Pleasing: Difficulty setting boundaries
This one kinda covers all the bases when it comes to being a people pleaser.
The lack of boundaries.
Avoiding confrontation because it is difficult to say “no,” give up your resources such as time or energy, and at times it can get to the point where you feel taken advantage of with others.
Having healthy boundaries is really important.
Your boundaries can help provide a framework for how you treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you.
Sign #4 of People Pleasing: You Just Go With the Flow….Kinda
You are not one to rock the boat so typically you just go along to get along, even if that means your wants, needs, or opinions get swept under the rug.
Often you’d rather be the one experiencing disappointment or frustration and save others from experiencing feelings (or perceived feelings).
When in reality you want your needs to be met too.
Sign #5 of People Pleasing: Give Others Grace But Not Yourself
Quick to allow others grace (because again you don’t want them to experience any “negative” feelings, especially not towards you) but a difficult time giving yourself the same treatment you give to others.
Anxiety Therapy in Wilmington, NC
People pleasing can cause a lot of overwhelm, anxiety, and resentment with yourself and others. It can create stress and lead to poor boundaries.
Recognizing signs of people pleasing tendencies is important. Once you begin to notice what they are and when it is happening you can begin to work on changing your people pleasing behaviors.
At Calm Waters Counseling, I use a style of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Check out this blog to learn if ACT could be helpful for you.
Learn more about ACT for anxiety.
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
Click the button below to schedule your free 15-minute consultation
Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your anxiety therapist
Start meeting your goals and living your life in rich and meaningful ways
Therapy for High Achievers in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC therapy practice.
I love working with anxious high-achieving women.
You know the kind…the quiet go-getter that gets shit done but may text their bestie in the process when the shit hits the fan for some extra reassurance and you still takes action anyways.
Yeah, you! You're my people!
Check out all services at Calm Waters Counseling, listed below:
Anxiety therapy in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Burnout Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Virtual Therapy for Anxiety Relief in North Carolina
Virtual therapy for anxiety has been a thing since before COVID-19 shut the world down. Now it’s just widely more accepted and offered.
My high-achiever clients have enjoyed and continue to utilize the online therapy for anxiety appointments because it meets their needs.
The flexibility and effectiveness of using online therapy can give you consistent support and treatment needed without the hassle of getting into the therapy office every week.
I understand that sometimes coming into the therapy office just isn’t an option. That’s okay because with online therapy for anxiety your appointment can take place from anywhere you need it to (ahem…within reason).
Check out this blog post on using online Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to get more information.
If online therapy seems like a good option for you, click the links below to learn more where you live.
online therapy for anxiety in North Carolina
online anxiety therapy in Maryland
Still, have questions? Click the buttons below to learn even more!
Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/20/23