5 Ways to Reduce Your Sorry Syndrome
No Longer Do You Have To Be A Serial Apologizer
Someone cuts you off in traffic and now you’re a little too close to their car but you see them throwing their hands up in the air. By habit, you blurt out “sorry.”
You are standing in a grocery store aisle trying to decide which cut of meat you should get for dinner. Someone walks up beside you looking as well, you scoot over and say “sorry” but then you both reach for the same item “sorry.”
You apologize for a lot, a serial apologizer if you will, and a lot of times it just comes out as a response and you don’t even think about it.
I am willing to bet there is someone or multiple someone in your life that has told you to “stop apologizing so much.”
What would it be like to not be a serial apologizer?
Keep reading to learn 5 things you can do to reduce your sorry syndrome and stop being a serial apologizer.
I am an online anxiety therapist in Wilmington, NC, and provide therapy for high-achieving women experiencing anxiety and stress. Most often my clients are struggling with challenges such as stress, perfectionism, poor boundaries, and burnout.
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Keep reading to learn tips on how to stop apologizing all the time.
5 Ways to Stop Apologizing All Time
Being a serial apologizer can be stressful for you and others around you. Check out these helpful tips on ways you can begin to reduce the Sorry Syndrome.
Tip #1 to Reduce Apologizing: Practice Mindfulness
It is very likely that the constant apologizing has its roots in anxiety and people-pleasing. I am also willing to bet that behaviorally, it’s become routine and habit too.
This is normal, although not necessarily helpful, but normal.
Being more mindful and in the present can be helpful to notice when you are engaging in unhelpful thoughts and behaviors.
Try some of these helpful mindfulness exercises you can start to practice and bring awareness to the present moment.
Tip #2 to Reduce Apologizing: Recognize You Are Important
Low self-esteem and confidence are also big-time contributors to the Sorry Syndrome. Your negative self-talk can have you believing you’re a problem, you’re in the way, etc.
Start working on increasing self-compassion to be kinder and gentler with yourself.
Tip #3 to Reduce Apologizing: Explore Your Sorry
Similar to what I said above, about apologizing becoming a bad habit, sometimes you don’t even know why you may be apologizing.
Once you start noticing the thoughts or behaviors using mindfulness, take some time to reflect and explore if the situation really deserved an apology.
If it did then great, use the apology.
If the situation did not warrant an apology, start exploring what you were trying to communicate with the apology, and identify some different language.
Tip #4 to Reduce Apologizing: Do An Experiment
This one may be uncomfortable, but I’m curious about what would happen if you didn’t apologize.
I’m willing to bet there may be some feelings of anxiety, guilt, or embarrassment that may show up. Those can be uncomfortable and those things are simply feelings and they will pass.
Once you start becoming aware of the apologizing behaviors, conduct an experiment and see what happens next. Commit to giving it a few tries and notice after each try what happens.
Tip #5 to Reduce Apologizing: Give Others Space
When your anxiety makes you uncomfortable it often leads to avoidance.
Avoiding feelings, people, places, tasks, etc.
Part of constant apologizing can come from trying to spare others from dealing with their own feelings or wanting them to not feel hurt, pain or discomfort.
When this happens you are actually doing this person a disservice to working through their own stuff and these skills are necessary for life.
Their stuff is not your responsibility.
So think of it as giving the other person the gift of opportunity.
Anxiety Therapy in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Being a serial apologizer can cause a lot of frustration for others and yourself. Often this behavior is a sign of anxiety, stress, or depression.
I use a style of therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for high achievers. Check out this blog to learn if ACT could be helpful for you.
Learn more about ACT for anxiety.
Get started in therapy at Calm Waters Counseling by following these 4 simple steps:
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Complete the brief questionnaire sent to your email before the consultation
Meet with your anxiety therapist
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Therapy for High Achievers in Wilmington, NC at Calm Waters Counseling
Learn more about me and my Wilmington, NC online therapy practice.
I work with anxious high-achievers and there is often a lot of serial apologizing happening. The stress, anxiety, people-pleasing, and poor boundaries are real y’all.
If this sounds relatable, check out the helpful services at Calm Waters Counseling, listed below:
Anxiety therapy in Wilmington, NC
Treatment for Perfectionism in Maryland
Burnout Counseling in Wilmington, NC
Therapy for Imposter Syndrome in Wilmington, NC
Online Anxiety Therapy in North carolina
Listen, I get it and understand that sometimes coming into the therapy office just isn’t an option.
No problem because I also offer online therapy for anxiety.
My high-achiever clients love having this option because it can meet their needs and keep them consistent with their therapy appointments.
Interested in online Acceptance and Commitment Therapy for anxiety treatment?
If online therapy seems like a good option for you, click the links below to learn more about where you live.
online therapy for anxiety in North Carolina
online anxiety therapy in Maryland
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Written by: Laura Rippeon, LCSW, LCSW-C
Updated 3/20/23